The annoying buzz of the dryer pierces fragile thoughts forming in my brain, deflating them like a punctured balloon.
I’ve been trying to ignore the clothes frantically spinning and tumbling in circles like cloth covered acrobats when the buzz brought my attention back to them.
The vacuum hose lays sulking where I dropped it on the floor, madly sucking away at the throw rug, ignoring the dust bunnies cowering under the cupboard. The cat circling my feet trying to trip me up and beg for food simultaneously, his howls of anguish competing with the sharp tones of the ringing phone.
It’s getting harder to think.
Tame that thought
There was something important I needed to record, it flew in on light feathered wings, drifted by as quick and slight as an airborne seed of a dandelion, and before it fully formed into a thought real life interfered once again.
Now I’ve forgotten what it was it was trying to tell me.
There are notes scattered everywhere, small pieces of scrap paper littered in pockets, in tettering piles on desks, scribbled in the corners of pages in notebooks. Some of them ring a bell of clarity in my mind others would require a archiologist to decipher them.
Vague cryptic sentences, misspelled words with exclamation marks, quotes, phrases. Bits and pieces of blogging, ideas for projects, thoughts and ideas, hastily pulled from the air as they come to me. What use are they now?
If creativity decides to turn the tap on at odd times shouldn’t it let it a bit run longer? Some of these thoughts are so fleeting they are skimming by like a bothersome bug, and in the time that it takest to swat it away they are gone.
Poof into another realm, gone just like that.
I wonder if they felt unwelcome and moved onto another blogger? Will I open up my browser one morning to find a charming post written with clarity and purpose by someone I admire, and think that it might have been something that I should have thought about?
We’ve all been there, the middle of the night posts, thoughts running through our heads easily convinced that they’re worth the effort of getting up to record them. But the lure of slumber, warmth, and a need to relax takes over.
Despite our concern about forgetting them by the next morning we allow ourselves to slip into a calm blue lake of sleep like a boat into the water…and drift away.
And then we wake up to find ourselves untethered, the previous thoughts are now floating in the middle of nowhere. The shoreline that was so clear the night before shrouded in foggy mists, and shapeless images.
Are you willing to get up in the middle of the night, make your way quietly down to the computer in a silent, cold house, shushing the whirling fan, and creaking chair, instead of laying awake trying to corral your woolly mind sheep to be counted before you drift off.
I’m not doing that anymore.
It’s going to be what it is
So I live with transient thoughts that drift by like clouds and try to capture them when they decide to show up by transcribing them onto any available piece of paper.
And a sense of having made my peace with it, I’m not going to let it bother me, if they are good they might come back once again. And if not them they must have moved onto someone else that needed them more than me.
Of course I will still practice good blogging habits, but I’m not going to be doing it in the middle of the night anymore. And I might just use some of the hints from this post to help myself out.
Thoughts are like bats, they fly at you making you cower and duck…but if you straighten up and face them head on they will stop circling your head, and settle down, it’s important to pay attention to the moment they alight, because it’s going to be interesting.
So that’s why I found myself standing there in front of the dryer the other day with the vacuum sucking at my toes, the cat circling and the clothes stopping their twirling….thinking of a idea for a blog post.
I set up some Autumn themed shots for my blog header the other day, it always amazes me that a cell phone takes better flat lay shots than my DSLR, with all of it’s lenses and buttons, but that’s the truth.
I was trying to create an image that represents who I am as a blogger, the camera, the notebook, all the gatherings from my walks made it into the shot. It takes a while to arrange things but when it comes together it makes my heart sing.
The theme I use is from Restored 316 Designs [wordpress] it’s a parallax theme, which means the landing page image moves up and down on the screen as you scroll, it’s amazing! I thought I’d mention it because it’s one of those little details make my kind of techy blogger’s heart sing with joy.
I asked for the moon
The big camera stayed home for our almost missed harvest moon adventure the other night. You know the eclipse that every single person in the world saw and posted photos about hours before us? The news had predicted we would be able to see it’s rosy face at 7:11, so we walked down the road to catch it.
But it looked like it was going to be a no-show.
Just like the Perseroid meteor showers this summer…it was supposed to be a romantic summer evening, we ended up dragging the heavy camera equipment down dark country roads trying not to break an ankle in the potholes, and sweating buckets in the 36 C heat.
At least we won’t forget that night soon.
This time we walked in the lovely cool night past the sleepy sheep, the quiet chickens, far away from the houses, beyond the horses in the fields, occasionally craning our necks backward to search the mountains hunkering behind us where the moon was supposed to rise.
But it was moonless, the cloudless sky dark, my optimism about this adventure cooling with the night air. We gave up sadly wandering the long way home, rather put out that our energetic enthusiasm wasn’t being rewarded.
There were comments made about “just like this summer’ some grumbles, and disappointment.
You gave me the stars
Until an hour later, when he decided to take a look, came inside and said the most romantic words a photographer can hear and put stars in my eyes.
“Get your camera.”
It was one of those magnificently memorable moments, a poetically glorious golden-tinged moon perched on the tips of the silhouetted giant fir trees.
Front doors opened as neighbors made their way onto the dark streets, shadowy figures gathered in groups, craning necks and fingers pointing out the best places to stand, reveling in the feeling of being part of something big that won’t happen again for decades.
It was no longer about getting the shot, it was about living in the moment, and what a moment it was.
Did you get to see the moon the other night?
Jen @ The Light Laughed
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