“Hello Spring, my name is Jen, I work in the HR department here at Gardening Inc. and I will be doing your performance review today.”
“What a unusual name you have, lovely, very ……fresh. Rather springy, one could say.”
“So let’s begin by looking at your employment history, and your suitability for the position that you are in now. Hmmmm, yes, oh I see. You are related to our President, Mother Nature?”
“Right, OK,” [ so that is how you got the job], mutters under breath.
“OK Spring, lets take a look at your stats, your supervisor reports that you are late again this season. And that this is a reoccurring problem with you. So this seems to be a area that requires some improvement. We will have to make a note of that, maybe a few seasons of being on time, will give you a better work record with Gardening Inc.”
“Let’s converse about your attitude.
Yes your attitude!
It has been, shall we say, a little cool?”
You don’t really seem to have the usual enthusiasm that we expect from a Gardening Inc. employee. ”
“Yes I understand that you are report directly to Mother Nature, and yes I know that she is my boss also, she has asked me to do your review. Spring, your attitude could use some work.”
“Now Spring, do not get up and flounce off in a huff. I am in conducting your job performance review, and there is no way that I am telling Mother Nature to get stuffed. This is not going to look good in your file.”
“Spring! Come back here.”
Shuffling of papers, door slams. Muttered sentence, “Well, I guess that review is done.”
Phone buzzes, “can someone send in Summer, please?”